I am not so happy right now because I guess I feel like this is all my fault. Like I am the one who caused all of this because of how I acted with him in the past. There is so much a person can take and I gave him his limit, and I regret it all. And all I want is him to see that I am sorry and that I really do love him! And I know he loves me, I do. I fear to talk to him because he doesn’t want to hear my sob stories and such. It’s just so complicated. I wish I could take everything I have ever said or done that was harmful to him.
Yeah, I guess you are right, but it’s not that I can’t live without a boyfriend, it’s just that I really love him. I mean… I can’t really describe it into words but I’m sure everyone knows what I mean. I know I should be mad and not let him back or whatever, but I just am really happy when I am with him…
:(
I had a dream my boyfriend broke up with me.
It hurts a lot because in reality, he did break up with me and recently too. In the worst way… packing up his stuff and leaving while I was away, making me come back to an empty house… Then he got back with me. But I have that feeling you know… like… why is he back with me? Just to make me happy and not himself? Fuck. It just isn’t the same. He doesn’t get happy when he sees me. He doesn’t like to say those little things anymore. It hurts so bad. I just want to crawl into a hole. I knew I should have never fell for another guy again. Not after what happened last time. And all those feelings I thought I had forgotten and thought I would never feel again, are coming back to me so fast. They are hitting me like a train, and I can’t handle this. I don’t know what to do.









